all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
