we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Randomize
