How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize