Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
