It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
