Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
