Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
