Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
cat food counts as protein by the way
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
When are your genitals available?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
