I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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