This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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