shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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