i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
