i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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