Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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