i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I still have a little drunk in my system
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
