Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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