So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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