I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
