So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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