Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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