I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
