Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
