What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
