Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
