I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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