and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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