just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
