I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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