yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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