i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I need a burrito and a hug.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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