For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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