He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
