I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
