I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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