i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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