my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
