there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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