I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
