Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
