You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
