nut hugger
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
did i walk over a car last night?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
