I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
