Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
