I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
