you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize
