I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
