Me too!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize