Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
