She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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