Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
