i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
