She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize