as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
