Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just gift wrapped bread.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
