5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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