I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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