That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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