Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
