Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
