man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
