I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
